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hina

Allah, mungkin aku wanita yang hina
kerak-kerak di sudut hatiku masih saja mampu meraja
jiwaku seperti terganggu
bisik-bisik jahanam masih terdengar sayup-sayup
mencari alasan untuk amarah, untuk membenci
ingin rasanya ku teriak
aku sudah tak ingin lagi
menyimpan kerak ini, sudah terlalu kotor hatiku
aku sudah ingin mulai hidup yang baru
aku sudah ingin hidup dengan bebas
aku ingin melepaskan semuanya
dan aku ingin bisa memaafkan dan ingin bisa menerima semuanya

mengakhiri ramadhan tanpa beban, tanpa dendam, tanpa dengki
yang ada hanya menyatu bahagia bersamaMu....

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It's been like 2 years?

I just finished skimming my post up to end 2012. Before getting married, and after marriage life up to last post before this. I didn't realized my post before marriage are mostly stories about a girl who tried so hard to get out of her miserable life with dark clouds inside her head facing her series of unfortunate events (I intended this blog to chute out those unnecessary garbage). After the wedding, honeymoon phase. Mmm, it was that fun, though. But, since I know this blog has other reader I tried to cover my bad stories. Wasn't like how I intended this blog to. After baby and few jobs, well, my life is actually getting better but still focus on my miserable life! (and list of hopes too) Last one, I wrote so many "haha" after a sentence that I think awkward, which now I find it annoying. Ha! (not haha)  I thought I was a positive person. But, it seems just to cover things up.  Even "let's giggle" this blog tagline is a survival, convincing my life...
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“Thank you steve jobs, thank you oprah winfrey, thanks you stanford, thanks you youtube, thank you MEDIA.” (it was my tweet today) I heard few things from stanford university commencement speeches. How lucky those stanford graduates to have amazing people and amazing speech in their graduation. Things that really stuck on my head are lessons of “connecting the dots”, to believe that the dots will somehow connected someday, “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”, and the courage to ask yourself “what’s in here to teach me?” in every condition you’re in. ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . .. .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . ...
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