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Ikhlas vs bodoh

Banyak sekali hal yang tidak mengenakkan hati, tidak sesuai dengan apa yang kita harapkan, atau hal-hal yang mampu membuat kita marah. Kata orang, kita harus sabar, kuat, dan ikhlas. Tapi, lama-lama saya bertanya-tanya. Kalau terus menerus menerima semua hal tidak mengenakkan tanpa berbuat apapun untuk membuatnya lebih baik, itu namanya pasrah dan bodoh. Sejauh mana ikhlas adalah ikhlas? Bukan ketidakberdayaan memperbaiki sesuatu yang sudah terlalu mengakar?

Sering saya dengar, doa-doa orang-orang yang tersiksa adalah ganjaran untuk mendapatkan yang lebih baik. Apa kita pantas meminta imbalan dari pengorbanan yang kita lakukan? Akhir-akhir ini saya sering merasa malu. Rasanya seperti pamrih. Gusti, kasih saya kekuatan. Untuk bertahan dan berbuat sesuatu.

*Mungkin malam ini saya lari, tapi sepertinya ini lebih baik buat saya.
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