I just finished skimming my post up to end 2012. Before getting married, and after marriage life up to last post before this.
I didn't realized my post before marriage are mostly stories about a girl who tried so hard to get out of her miserable life with dark clouds inside her head facing her series of unfortunate events (I intended this blog to chute out those unnecessary garbage). After the wedding, honeymoon phase. Mmm, it was that fun, though. But, since I know this blog has other reader I tried to cover my bad stories. Wasn't like how I intended this blog to. After baby and few jobs, well, my life is actually getting better but still focus on my miserable life! (and list of hopes too) Last one, I wrote so many "haha" after a sentence that I think awkward, which now I find it annoying. Ha! (not haha)
I thought I was a positive person. But, it seems just to cover things up. Even "let's giggle" this blog tagline is a survival, convincing my life that sometimes life is a bad joke and you just need to be able to laugh at it. Good jokes did happened, but maybe I moved on from those bad jokes little more harder. Now, I'm going need to learn what it takes to become a real positive person.
The good news is, my life is no longer miserable. I got myself out from my series of unfortunate events, which actually taught me much. I brought myself in a position that made me able to have some opportunities and made decision to picked up the best one out of them.
By the way, one of my post mentioned my wish when I'm 30. Surprisingly, it happen the way I describe it. Now, I'm convinced with 'you need to be imagine your life version in the most detailed way you want', because that will happen.
Now, my life is much clearer by looking from the posts I've skimmed through. Can't take myself through another (my own) spiraling post. Maybe I'm too embarrassed. But, it's good though having this kind of journal. I've grown much than what I think. I'm much getting closer to be the person I always wanted to be.
Currently, I'm living my dream in the beginning of 30. Living a dream is not always glorious like how I used to imagine. Compared to my life earlier it's actually just another version of 'living my life', or 'life must go on'. But,-it's hard to find the right explanation for this-. My life is more calm (serene? this word sounds I made it up too much), more sober everyday, more content, sort of 'less is more' mode.
I'm going to start journaling again. No need to be perfect. Only need to be more persistent and consistent. Journaling could help my current plans, so better to start again.
Smile more, exercise more, eat more healthy, be more present.
I didn't realized my post before marriage are mostly stories about a girl who tried so hard to get out of her miserable life with dark clouds inside her head facing her series of unfortunate events (I intended this blog to chute out those unnecessary garbage). After the wedding, honeymoon phase. Mmm, it was that fun, though. But, since I know this blog has other reader I tried to cover my bad stories. Wasn't like how I intended this blog to. After baby and few jobs, well, my life is actually getting better but still focus on my miserable life! (and list of hopes too) Last one, I wrote so many "haha" after a sentence that I think awkward, which now I find it annoying. Ha! (not haha)
I thought I was a positive person. But, it seems just to cover things up. Even "let's giggle" this blog tagline is a survival, convincing my life that sometimes life is a bad joke and you just need to be able to laugh at it. Good jokes did happened, but maybe I moved on from those bad jokes little more harder. Now, I'm going need to learn what it takes to become a real positive person.
The good news is, my life is no longer miserable. I got myself out from my series of unfortunate events, which actually taught me much. I brought myself in a position that made me able to have some opportunities and made decision to picked up the best one out of them.
By the way, one of my post mentioned my wish when I'm 30. Surprisingly, it happen the way I describe it. Now, I'm convinced with 'you need to be imagine your life version in the most detailed way you want', because that will happen.
Now, my life is much clearer by looking from the posts I've skimmed through. Can't take myself through another (my own) spiraling post. Maybe I'm too embarrassed. But, it's good though having this kind of journal. I've grown much than what I think. I'm much getting closer to be the person I always wanted to be.
Currently, I'm living my dream in the beginning of 30. Living a dream is not always glorious like how I used to imagine. Compared to my life earlier it's actually just another version of 'living my life', or 'life must go on'. But,-it's hard to find the right explanation for this-. My life is more calm (serene? this word sounds I made it up too much), more sober everyday, more content, sort of 'less is more' mode.
I'm going to start journaling again. No need to be perfect. Only need to be more persistent and consistent. Journaling could help my current plans, so better to start again.
Smile more, exercise more, eat more healthy, be more present.
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