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bismillah, dengan nama Dia Penguasa ketidakmampuan manusia

I really have problems. Yes. Being in this overwhelming circumstances makes me realize that i need to be more brave and bold enough to speak out. But most of all, need to be smarter to understand and to be able to manage the whole situation precisely.

I feel like i have too many things to worry in this little time. Don't panic. Even others' extra worries and others'
incapability to understand are main reasons that makes my head heavier (literally and implicitly). I realize, when i say "i don't care" sometimes i'm just "running away" to avoid further conflict. Actually, i care and i hold it inside my heart. and my main problem now is, i have been sleepy since 3 hours ago, but i feel unable to sleep.. :-/

Oh God. I'm not running away this time. Please guide me.

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Ada sisi yang bisa membuat saya merasa sedih dari hal yang menyenangkan. Kangen dengan seseorang itu membahagiakan, sesuatu yang patut disyukuri. Kadang, saya bilang "pengen bareng", atau "pengen ada di sana", atau semacamnya. Tapi, lama-lama saya malah jadi sedih karena saya tahu saya gak bisa melakukannya. Saya (jauh) lebih banyak mengucapkannya ketimbang melakukannya. Beberapa kali saya urung mengatakannya. Jadi, saya simpan dalam hati saja. Rasanya omong doang. Dalam setahun saja, mungkin saya 'hanya' 5 kali bertemu dengannya. Pertemuan 1-2 hari menjadi sangat berharga. Hal ini sedikit membuat gusar, kadang. Tapi, harus bagaimana? Harusnya saya bisa lebih ikhlas untuk lebih banyak hal ya? Sent from my BlackBerry® powered by Sinyal Kuat INDOSAT