.... :)

hubungan antar perempuan itu sesuatu yang mejik menurut saya. ada aja trik dan intrik, hahaha. dalam konotasi baik dan buruk tentunya.  Me, being judgemental, banyak perempuan yang: 1. Judgemental 2. Suka komen, yang penting komen aja 3. Kepo 4. Nyinyir 5. Drama queen 6. Being nice  (atau ganjen/sok manis)  ke kolega laki-laki. Kalo ke strata setara/dibawahnya nginjek. Kalo ke perempuan yang strata diatasnya jadi ikutan nice, tapi jadi diragukan keikhlasannya being nice (terlanjur skeptis). 7. Bertele-bele. Kalo gini gw jadi mesti gitu, tp kalo gini caranya gw gak mau. duh, make your mind please. tapi, biar gini sebenarnya saya juga bisa kepingin punya geng cewek kalo liat fb org yg punya lingkaran pertemanan yang bertahun2 dan bisa akrab bgt.

it's like falling in love over and over again. and you would do anything to give the best

I'm always obsessed of success. I always want to be recognized, I bother doing stuffs to be seen. I forget to think what's actually need to be done and what's beyond. So, it always about me and I tend to neglect important things that I need to look after. Things in my life proved that I must struggle harder than people I envy (or I may say I'm jealous with).  To accept is one thing, and to be define my own criteria is other thing.  So, what? I have to learn (again and again) to live in present moment, focus on what I can push with my own criteria. And of course, not being anxious what might happen using someone else's shoes. Theoretically, haha.

last friday, a girl with long hair called me after she saw my ID card photo with a long hair. She called me pretty in it.  Carefreely, I responded if I could I'd like to try pixie cut as well, like a boy. She responded that 'too bad, it won't be pretty again'. I'm didn't feel offended, but it makes me wonder why a woman's prettiness defined by length of her hair? quite conservative I admit. I believe there are  many spectrum of beauty. No worries, but it makes me think, though.

http://www.kompasiana.com/robbigandamana/surga-itu-nggak-penting-think-different-ala-cak-nun_5596443a337a611d0d375d92 *nanti dicari deh sumber aslinya biar sreg This had been bugging my mind lately. I lose my desire of a promised heaven and I kept on wondering if I'm still sane enough to think this way.  Tapi, ternyata gak butuh waktu lama saya 'ditunjuki' artikel ini. Setidaknya saya tidak merasa saya segila  itu lagi atau kayak sok suci aja masa' iya gak mau yang enak. Dasarnya ya cuma gara-gara saya tidak mau melakukan sesuatu karena murni rasa takut/imbalan.  I just lose my interest in it, kayak dangkal aja.  Bahkan saya pun bertanya-tanya, apa sih 'ridho' Allah itu. Apa sih ridho itu? Awas lho nanti kena musibah, atau ih dosa iih.. Okelah, kalo dosa masih lah ada. Atau, masa' melakukan ini itu supaya dapat pahala. Yaa kadang saya berbuat sesuatu karena saya kepingin aja, supaya orang lain terbantu, dan gak ngarep apaa gitu buat saya sendiri. Kadang, ya,

I used to love and live proudly a life in a fast lane, but now I enjoy this slow life. It's no longer about how to get more in quantity. But, to embrace each moment, to understand deeper what's the utmost important, ..., how to do good. *sotoy dah

*29/6: belajar duduk + nces Terima kasih anak mama, karena semalam mau sabar kebangun gara-gara gusinya gatel mau tumbuh gigi..

1. Semoga, nanti tiba masanya saya bersahabat dengan senin di akhir minggu, dan tidak terlalu merindukan sabtu di tengah minggu. 2. Lebih banyak silaturahmi dan memperbanyak berbagi. Tidak cuma senda gurau, tapi juga berbagi kebaikan untuk yang lebih baik.

1. Jealous sih, tp mesti sadar diri jg skil & knowledge masih tanggung. Butuh keberanian juga untuk ngaku jealous. 2. Kl bete, pundung, pengen cabut/jd sahm yang punya usaha.  3. Di satu sisi, harusnya bersyukur dengan kondisi ini. Soalnya jadi gak sering meeting dan bebas mompa, dan gak perlu lembur karena gak banyak tanggung jawab. 4. Tapi, sejujurnya merasa ter-downgrade trustnya. Ini masalah pride sih.  5. Kalo ngobrol sama temen yang punya kasus yang setipe (beda situasi), sama2 bilang: yaudalah, blessing in disguise. 6. Cita2, yang mudah2an tercapai: umur 30, tiga taun dari sekarang sudah punya usaha pegangan sendiri. Sekarang jalani yang ada dulu. Usaha yang masih bisa antar jemput anak sekolah, nemenin ngerjain pr, punya waktu utk saling ngobrol, dan ngatur rumah. Amin. 7. Hari ini mikirnya, karir di korporat gak selamanya. Karena pingin nemenin ray (dan insyaAllah adek[2]nya) tumbuh.  8. Apa mungkin pikiran no.7 yang demotivate extra effort utk bs achieve lebih? dan no.5 s

Think should start to invest on pairs of good shoes. Definitely to m ake me feel good, look good means look professional enough, and surely  won't break just in 3 months.  *Why things tend to break on important occasion? 

  this is one of those night when i refuse to fall asleep, because when i woke up it's monday. will definitely crave for another long weekend. i don't want to be away from my baby. well.. dear monday, i know you will arrive soon or later, like it or not. ;)

I've been super-blessed. Maybe it's not me, but him, my big boy Rayendra. Joyful pregnancy time, surviving birth wounds, surviving new sleeping habit, abundant breastmilk, and confidence in breastfeeding in public* or expressing breastmilk in public**."  I remember I went through hard times and it wasn't easy, but today I don't feel those burden me. Those are proofs to myself that I can be better and somehow those set me free (of what? Don't know, leh , but that's what I feel)  Oleh karena itu, saya: 1. Harus bersyukur 2. Gak boleh sombong 3. Gak boleh sotoy 4. Inget berbagi, minimal senyum kali ya, muka asem ke laut aja ya 😄 *) with cover, of course **) with cover, of course. Like, on my working desk, but not in meeting room - probably I'll do it if the attendees are in my circle, which no way it would happened. Or, ikea restaurant, done that. There are still lots of blessings, of course. Some can be measured, most can't. Those had helped us to bu

Ibu adalah seorang manusia, mungkin saya bisa lupa itu. Ibu juga pernah berbuat salah, ibu juga tidak sempurna. Lalu,  Apa yang menjadi penting? Beruntung saya, menemukan beberapa. Ada yang saya temukan lewat tatap mata, canda, atau kasih sayang anaknya. Pelajaran yang tanpa saya sadar saya pelajari. Saya tidak muluk-muluk, harapan saya hari ini bukan menjadi ibu yang sempurna. Karena saya tahu saya tidak  mungkin. Saya berdoa untuk hari-hari yang hangat, mengasihi, bermakna, dan saling merindukan. Menjadi Ibu yang baik - ketika makna 'baik' bisa begitu relatif. Ibu itu, ya, saya hari ini.

Never can't thank enough to my strong well-determined husband since days before our baby arrived. His caring is tremendously enormous. Seems like impossible to get through these days without him.  And, finally, now I see mom at her best. Raising children is always challenging, it takes courage to act for other human.  Baby Ray, I'm trying kiddo, to give what's best for you.

Baby Ray is special. He needs to be 'cooked' longer.. :)

today's is baby ray's EDD ( estimated due date).. 40 weeks in my belly.. nothing's happening, just another day with him moving quiet a lot and mommy's starting not to feel helpless, get used to with this weight and any kind of stinging push.. and, still waiting for the real call.. hey, kiddo, kamu betah sekali di dalam peruuuuttt... 😂😂😂😂 bahkan pak dokter ngasih kamu waktu seminggu lagi.. 

Pas badan remek habis-habisan dan mood tercecer, nikmat-senikmatnya mandi pake air anget panas ples wangi sampo natur. Subhanallah enaknya. :3