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100626

Dulu,
tak ada alasan bagiku untuk tinggal
 Tak sedikitpun
 Kamu yang membuatku tinggal
 Demi kamu

 Dan,
 Demi kamu pulalah kujalani perjuangan akhirku
 Demi menjadi seseorang yang pantas bagimu
 Yang bisa cukup baik dan pintar bagimu

 Tawa dan tangis lebur jadi satu
 Kukurangi jam tidurku
 Demi akhir yang terbaik
 Demi mimpiku dulu: kamu
 Aku belajar mati-matian
 Supaya aku pantas buatmu
 Hingga suatu hari,
 aku menjadi yang terbaik diantara kebanyakan teman kita
 Tak pernah kubayangkan sanjungan2 itu, dari teman dan guru

 Tapi lihatlah,
 Aku menangis dan meraung
 Lagi-lagi karenamu
 Aku dilupakan dan semuanya berakhir dalam sekejap mata
 Kau merasa benar dan terbebas
 Aku tak minta maafmu, lupakan
 Tp tanyakan pd dirimu:
Pantaskah aku kamu curangi ketika kukurangi jam tidurku demi kamu?
 Pantaskah aku kamu curangi ketika aku belajar demi kamu?
 Pantaskah aku kamu curangi ketika aku berjuang demi kamu?
 Pantaskah aku?
Aku, orang yang pernah kamu minta untuk tinggal?

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It's been like 2 years?

I just finished skimming my post up to end 2012. Before getting married, and after marriage life up to last post before this. I didn't realized my post before marriage are mostly stories about a girl who tried so hard to get out of her miserable life with dark clouds inside her head facing her series of unfortunate events (I intended this blog to chute out those unnecessary garbage). After the wedding, honeymoon phase. Mmm, it was that fun, though. But, since I know this blog has other reader I tried to cover my bad stories. Wasn't like how I intended this blog to. After baby and few jobs, well, my life is actually getting better but still focus on my miserable life! (and list of hopes too) Last one, I wrote so many "haha" after a sentence that I think awkward, which now I find it annoying. Ha! (not haha)  I thought I was a positive person. But, it seems just to cover things up.  Even "let's giggle" this blog tagline is a survival, convincing my life
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100531

“Thank you steve jobs, thank you oprah winfrey, thanks you stanford, thanks you youtube, thank you MEDIA.” (it was my tweet today) I heard few things from stanford university commencement speeches. How lucky those stanford graduates to have amazing people and amazing speech in their graduation. Things that really stuck on my head are lessons of “connecting the dots”, to believe that the dots will somehow connected someday, “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”, and the courage to ask yourself “what’s in here to teach me?” in every condition you’re in. ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . .. .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... .
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