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100704

Berkali-kali kubuka halaman rekaman gambar dan pikiran arsitektur

Kupandangi, kutelusuri, kuteliti, kubaca perlahan

Hingga akhirnya kadang terasa ada titik buntu, tak terbantahkan, kurasa titik henti

Tapi aku mencintai arsitektur, sungguh, ekspresi permainan intuisi dan rasio


Tapi pikiran untuk meninggalkannya melintas berkali-kali

Untuk menyeberang ke tempat lain

Rasanya bukan disini tempatku, sepertinya aku bukan arsitek si pencipta

Potensi, kemampuan, dan bawaan lahirku rasanya tak maksimal unjuk gigi

Aku mencari apa yang sesuai dengan diriku

Mencintai sesuatu yang tetap membuatku menjadi aku

Ditambah lagi dengan kisah lama yang membuatku ingin membunuh diriku yang dulu


Apakah menyeberang memang jawabannya?

Ataukah aku hanya lari dari diriku yang ingin kubunuh?

Oh Allah, bagaimana ini?

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It's been like 2 years?

I just finished skimming my post up to end 2012. Before getting married, and after marriage life up to last post before this. I didn't realized my post before marriage are mostly stories about a girl who tried so hard to get out of her miserable life with dark clouds inside her head facing her series of unfortunate events (I intended this blog to chute out those unnecessary garbage). After the wedding, honeymoon phase. Mmm, it was that fun, though. But, since I know this blog has other reader I tried to cover my bad stories. Wasn't like how I intended this blog to. After baby and few jobs, well, my life is actually getting better but still focus on my miserable life! (and list of hopes too) Last one, I wrote so many "haha" after a sentence that I think awkward, which now I find it annoying. Ha! (not haha)  I thought I was a positive person. But, it seems just to cover things up.  Even "let's giggle" this blog tagline is a survival, convincing my life
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“Thank you steve jobs, thank you oprah winfrey, thanks you stanford, thanks you youtube, thank you MEDIA.” (it was my tweet today) I heard few things from stanford university commencement speeches. How lucky those stanford graduates to have amazing people and amazing speech in their graduation. Things that really stuck on my head are lessons of “connecting the dots”, to believe that the dots will somehow connected someday, “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”, and the courage to ask yourself “what’s in here to teach me?” in every condition you’re in. ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . .. .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... . .. ... . .. .. .. . ... .. . . . ... ..... . . . . .. ... .
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